This note could be titled what I learned from life, what I learned during my inner reflections or introspection or even what I learnt by observing myself. The reason I titled it so, is because the person who taught me how to really observe myself and my life is Raj. My conversations with Raj happen on a regular basis (I really consider myself lucky) and he is kind enough to blog or write notes on Facebook pretty regularly…sometimes he says certain things that just blow me away.. they are just simple truths, some of which I already know or some that I don’t know but think how come I never thought of it that way. The kind of clarity that I have received is unbelievable. Though I can’t really speak about each and every example in detail there are certain things which just stand out in Raj’s work.
Lesson #1: Embrace all that is (lovingly): In my first conversation with Raj, I was nervous, shy, unsure and completely distrusting. When I look back and ask myself why I was that way.. the answer that comes up is ‘I was afraid of being JUDGED!’ I lived in constant fear of being judged. The consequences of that were trying to fit into some kind of ‘norm’ some kind of ‘standard’ ( the conditions of which were pretty warped, anyway!) just so people (people could be anyone – my parents, relatives, family, peers, strangers) would accept me and appreciate me. More than that, I was also applying these strange rules to how I saw myself.. and when I failed to fit in, I was disappointed and I hated myself. This entire drama made me depressed, agitated, confused and angry. The more I tried to ‘mold’ myself to these standards.. the more dissatisfied I was. Enter Raj, and my entire perspective shifted. One conversation with him and I just got that whatever it is, It’s all a part of me… and there is nothing wrong or right.. it just is! Now, this fact was something I had read a million times.. but I never got it like I did with Raj.. I learned that I can be gentle with myself.. and just lovingly accept whatever is and whatever unfolds.. all the shame, guilt, misunderstandings I had about me just melted.. and I just connected with myself so deeply. Beauty unfolded- this was my first step towards true freedom and I felt like all my prayers and my deep desire for understanding my true nature were being answered. I must admit I got really excited!! There was no need for outsiders to appreciate or love me any more.. I could just do it for myself. I felt a great ease and comfort just being me.. floating like a cloud. I was getting highs that I thought were only possible with alcohol. It was so simple, yet so profound.. In my excitement I think I shared these thoughts with many people.. some were supporting, some were as excited as me, some already awakened souls listened patiently and told me this was just the beginning…
Lesson #2: We are all beautifully simple, and simply beautiful: This is something that Raj lives. I haven’t known him for very long but whatever I do know of him just resonates with this fact. Those who know Raj or those who have read about him know that he is a multi-faceted man. The more I get to know him, I realize that he is a man of many gifts and talents yet he doesn’t attach himself to any of these. He also uses his abilities to help others make life-changing decisions and sees everyday miracles happening, yet he only terms himself as a ‘midwife’ of possibilities. If you pay him a compliment, he says I only mirror you.. what you see in me is what you truly are.. at first I thought he’s just being modest. In subsequent conversations I realized that it isn’t that Raj doesn’t know his greatness.. he just holds it lightly! He enjoys the praise but he doesn’t get attached to it.. and better yet, he makes everyone realize that they have this greatness within themselves as well. I then came to understand, why people had labeled him as ‘mind-blowing’, ‘freedom coach’ etc etc. All beliefs I had about praise, appreciation, modesty, pride just came crumbling down. I realized I was truly beautiful, just like Raj and I didn’t have to be ashamed of that. Not only me.. everyone was an extension of me I truly felt one with everyone and everything. Though Raj and I have had many many conversations.. I still feel like I meet a new Raj every one or two days. Each of his facets has a beautiful insight to offer. And again, each of his facets makes me see the greatness that lies in me too… my conversations, my viewpoints, my thoughts became those of acute awareness and observation.
Lesson #3: Everything is part of the Flow, enjoy it!: There is great peace in knowing this.. this one insight of Raj makes you forgive yourself and others almost instantly. When you truly get it a warm glow spreads over you. I started giving myself space to observe myself and my life without any judgments and meanings attached to it. And since everything is a part of the flow, no mistakes occur. I am no longer a victim and I can accept everything that happens with more openness. This is real enjoyment.. where we can embrace everything and everyone and somewhere along the line, a kind of surrender happens.. sweet surrender. With this surrender and acceptance comes a new honesty, a new fearless-ness. It’s delicious! And just when we start thinking, what if this all goes away (one more fear) a new insight comes.. when you are aware be aware, when you are not enjoy that too.. no pressure, no tension, no grief.. just pure unadulterated joy. You are part of the flow and the flow is part of you.
This is just a synopsis of the things I have leaned in my journey so far. There could be a lot more to come or nothing at all. Either way I love it all and enjoy living in the now!
Thanks Raj.. I am eternally grateful!