What a question! I didn’t know that Mujeeb asking me and the Deep Red Ink team this question would lead me to one of the most unforgettable journeys of my life. One that consumed me – emotionally, physically, intellectually and spiritually – but only because I chose to be consumed by it. I think at one point, the energy of Freedom Under Construction became addictive – so much so that I couldn’t think of anything beyond it. There were many lessons learned in this roller coaster ride.. some of the outcomes are beautiful and worth writing about..
There is nothing like crisis to deepen relationships.. with ourselves or with others. Urgency, tension, stress, sorrow, ego-triggers – mostly despised by me earlier- have made me form the strongest bonds with people I know. I now truly believe that whatever is caused in my life is for my growth.. and life’s given me evidence for it. I feel immense love for the people involved in Freedom Under Construction which is unexplainable and I didn’t think this love was possible except for friends I had known for a long, long time. A greater level of acceptance for all has made me closer to understanding that All is One.
It’s the effort, not the outcome!
Yeah, I know.. it’s been said everywhere – from ancient spiritual texts to all new age books – but realising this truly, in whatever measure is always enlightening. I always knew that the event was bigger than me.. there was no way that I, alone, could cause the type of response that was expected, but when the event drew nearer and I became more engulfed in “doer-ship” and believed that if I didn’t do it, the work wouldn’t get done. The Universe has ways of making us realise things..and a week before the event, I had a fall outside the Bhumi office and was in great pain. The doctor advised bed-rest! The thought that ran in my head was… there is so much to be done, how can I rest in bed?? But I was told that if I wanted to participate fully for the actual event in a week, I would have to rest it out. The 3 days that I rested, I realised that it was all being done, all being taken care of.. and it would play out exactly as it was supposed to be. A deep acceptance of reality actually made me calmer and more aware, I was rested and at peace.
There is beauty in conflict
In the past 3 months, I have probably witnessed and been party to more conflicts that I ever probably have..and it’s been an amazing journey for me. I think the conflicts have caused as much growth (if not more) as has appreciation. Many times, I am appreciation-hungry and detest criticism and conflict.. but in this journey, in some places, I have been able to observe myself when I hear criticism or witness/be a part of conflict. There is great learning here.. just to see how much of display of emotion and fear we tend to take personally. I think just being aware of this is going to help me in conflict resolution and an obviously greater level of acceptance.
Commitment is not only about what you do..
This realisation only came to me a week after the event. I was looking for answers as to why some of us were so obviously committed and able to perform some actions.. and why some of us, inspite of our best efforts, were not able to perform certain actions. The idea that had us energetically committed was effortless.. while the ideas that didn’t have us committed in thoughts, words and energy were difficult, time-consuming and didn’t yield expected outcomes. It also made me realise that fear-based actions almost never yielded any positive result even though much effort was put into it.
One of the things that Mujeeb uses as a yardstick to measure if he is happy about an event is asking the question – Would I do it all over again?
When I ask myself, the answer is Yes, I absolutely would because, in doing this event.. I have experienced many levels of freedom – from boundaries, perceptions, beliefs. I also feel it’s worthwhile to stay with the inquiry, what does freedom really mean?
May the truth set us free 🙂